Heartbreak High (TV)
Netflix’s Heartbreak High is an Australian teen drama featuring Quinni—an Autistic character authentically portrayed by the amazing Chloe Hayden (an Autistic advocate and actress). It is by far the most realistic and relatable portrayal of being Autistic that I have seen on television.
The best part about Quinni is that her Autistic characteristics are not portrayed as character flaws. She is a dynamic, complex character with story lines that do not center being Autistic. Quinni has a best friend, Darren, who accepts Quinni as she is and never makes her feel like being Autistic is a problem. Darren is a prime example of how people could treat Autistics as whole, wonderful people, and not as “disordered” pity projects.
Episode six, “Angeline,” really focusses on Quinni and some of the everyday challenges and discrimination that Autistics face. The episode opens with Quinni going through her morning routine (including cutting tags out of her top) and we get a glimpse of the accepting and loving dads that helped shaped her into the self-compassionionate and self-confident person that she is.
As Quinni makes her way to school (with headphones on), we get to see her wonder at a simple flock of birds flying. Autistic joy is such a huge part of our culture, but is so rarely portrayed in the media, that this small, quiet scene made me tear up.
Quinni has big plans to go to a book reading by her favorite author of her favorite series. She is in costume (so Autistic!) and info dumps all about her favorite character to her less-than-awesome girlfriend, Sasha, who is visibly annoyed and even embarrassed at Quinni’s excitement.
Sasha invites Quinni out after the reading, but Quinni clearly states her boundaries and says that she’ll need time to recover after being so activated and engaged fan girling out over her favorite special interest. Quinni does not view this recuperation time as a flaw, but just a personal need and preference. Sasha, however, looks down on it and makes no attempt to get clarity on Quinni’s needs or to simply congratulate her on her self-awareness and boundary setting and invite her out a different day.
Then—horror of horrors—Sasha coerces Quinni off of the bus so that she can indulge in an impulsive sweet treat. She does not respect Quinni’s interests, desires, or needs, and (as we Autistics are so used to) acts as if Quinni not reacting well to the disrespect is the problem. She even enters into small talk with someone who appears to be an old friend, further messing the schedule that Quinni had spent weeks perfecting! (For perspective, this is probably the cultural equivalent of helping yourself to a new roommate’s closet, food, and laptop all without asking—it’s outrageously disrespectful in Autistic culture, and it happens all the time).
It’s one thing after another—the girlfriend is rude, abrasive and a perfect representation of what we deal with every day. As the offenses mount, Quinni’s sensory sensitivities increase (such an authentic touch!). Instead of Sasha realizing that her disregard for Quinni’s boundaries or wishes has pushed Quinni’s nervous system into high gear, she further blames Quinni and her “autism.” When Quinni puts on her noise cancelling headphones (which, despite the name, dulls noise—not cancel it), Sasha says apologetically to a stranger on the bus, “She’s kind of like, on the spectrum.” And of course, Quinni hears this.
(For the record, we do not appreciate people making “excuses” for our very natural behavior because it reinforces the idea that our authentic self is not natural and needs to be apologized for. It is especially offensive when the people we love prioritize the ableist opinions of strangers over our needs and feelings).
When they finally arrive at the book signing, Quinni greets a friend, filled to the brim with Autistic zeal. Instead of admiring her capacity for joy and wonder, Sasha literally cringes and acts embarrassed. Again, Quinni, of course, notices. Meanwhile, Sasha completely ignores the fact that due to her forcing Quinni to change her schedule, they now have to go to the way back of the line where Quinni is seaparted from her friend.
During the reading, Quinni is literally bouncing with joy, until she looks over at Sasha who is messing around on her phone and looking bored and uncomfortable. As a hyper-empathetic Auttie, Quinni visibly deflates. She rallies herself, but you can see how it takes the wind out of her sails.
The whole thing comes to a beautifully crafted climax when the girlfriend—completely blinded by privilege—bursts out, “I’m always doing things for you. What about me?” (Oooh, we hear this a lot too—thank you Heartbreak High for showing the hypocrisy and inaccuracy of this assumption!) Then, after making EVERYTHING that’s gone wrong that day about Quinni being Autistic (instead of recognizing her own poor behavior), Sasha snaps, “Don’t pull the autism card on me.” (Yikes!)
By the end, it’s a death by a thousand paper cuts—Quinni’s pushed passed tolerance and has a meltdown. While most depictions of Autistics involve a meltdown, no others do such a good job of portraying it authentically, and—most importantly—shows that it isn’t because Quinni’s somehow “disordered,” but rather, it is depicted as a natural consequence of being denied agency and respect by someone who professes to care about her.
After the meltdown, Quinni’s best friend, Darren comes over. I love this bit because Darren doesn’t need Quinni to be able to speak or to be “fun,” they just love Quinni and are willing to come over and co-regulate with her so that she can start to recover. That is the kind of friendship that we want and need.
The show further shows that meltdowns are not singular events, but are followed by burnout and heightened sensory sensitivities, sometimes lasting for days. Quinni wears her headphones full time, doesn’t speak, and hunches her shoulders protectively.
In the next episode, “The Sheriff,” we see Quinni cope with burnout, and we continue to see her true friends accept and accommodate her. They include her at school and while hanging at a local diner. She doesn’t have to speak or perform neuronormativity to be accepted and valued—she just is.
We also get a chance to see the amazing parenting that has gifted Quinni with the resilience and self-worth when she joins a protest against a beloved teacher being forced out of school (go Autistic justice sensitivity!). One of her dads comes to the protest and texts to see if she’s ok. She replies affirmatively (through emojis), so he does the super hard thing and encouragingly blows her a kiss. You can see that he’s concerned, but he’s choosing to do the brave thing and just believe in her and give her agency. She’s doing something she believes in and you can tell he’s proud of her and doesn’t think that she’s less capable of making that choice just because she’s recovering from a meltdown.
Heartbreak High is an engaging show with some of the best representation available today—and not just for Autistics. Stories revolve around racial injustice and police brutality, assault, consent, and the kaleidoscope of sexual and gender expressions (including a compelling asexual character), and of course, ableism. Don’t watch this show because it’s highly entertaining and just plain good—watch it because it will make you a better person for having viewed it.
Craving more Autistic-approved, progressive TV? Check out this list.